How has suicide affected you?

Oh hun, I know how you feel. Thank god that your friend didnt die, right? Well I'm going to tell you my story. I'm only 19. In 2007 my father hung himself, and my brother found him. He never got therapy for what he had seen, and me, my mom and my other siblings havent either. Looking back, I know we should have. In 2008, my cousin Joanna hung herself, and her other 3 friends followed. in 2009, My brother daniel hung himself ( my brother who found my father ) and my friend Kate followed him. So I have my experience in suicide. My mother is bi-polar so it is hard living with her, thats why I'm trying to move out on my own but now since all these death's that happend, I worry about her. I dont go to my therapy sessions, as i'm afraid to be judged. And guess what? My mom kicked me out on my birthday, which was a week ago. I've certainly thought of doing what my cousins, my father , my brother and my friend did. I always think about it actually. In fact I was about to ask a question until I seen this question. But I will soon. I hope you feel better, and tell your loved ones you love/care about them as much as you can cause you dont know what you got until its gone. I will post my brothers memorial webpage if you'd like to see. oh and by the way, I've tried it twice, one point where i actually had the rope around my neck,but i cut it down, the other time was when I took 45 advil. nothing happend, but all i did was puke, all night. i didnt go to the doctor or anything.